If I’m being honest, I’m actually writing this blog post to help myself. When something frustrates me I usually don’t take the time to sit down with my thoughts and think it out. Just like how the gym empowers me, writing similarly helps to clarify my thoughts and feelings.
Recently I’ve been struggling with genuinely accepting who I am, what I can achieve and my personal best. This isn’t something which constantly gets my down whatsoever but I definitely have low points some days where it leaves me questioning my own motivations and ambitions in life. When we start to feel down about ourselves we usually, as humans, tend to make things that little bit more depressing by then comparing our (what we think are now low) achievements to other peoples. And this in turn results in a viciously negative cycle. This blog post focuses around getting over that feeling of anxiety and how we can use it to benefit ourselves rather than letting it over rule us.
I started realising that this was something I struggled with as soon as I had a substantial amount of responsibility in my life, and as you know, with responsibility comes pressure. I’ve dealt with pressure in my life before sure, I’ve faced year upon year of exams, of trying to get into University, family and friend related issues and other things. But since creating @progresspure I’ve had to experience a new found kind of responsibility which I seem to care a lot more about than any other I’ve dealt with before.
Through @progresspure I try to get across visually what kind of positive energy and emotion motivates me to want to make changes in my life. I try and put out to you the happy, empowering and positive thoughts which I have (not all the time but most) which make me love waking up every morning and propel me to achieve want I want in life. I am a very positive person naturally so having the opportunity to do this is genuinely heart warming. I get the chance to do what I love whilst helping likeminded people feel good about themselves (it’s a definite win win).
See look at that smile!
So I’m here, I’m on my journey, I’m doin’ my own thang and I’m spreading those positive vibes whilst doing so, and I totally love it. That being said I find it very hard not to compare myself to other people and in turn I always put myself down for not having achieved enough. The worst part is, I despise this kind of thinking. It’s negative, it’s pointless and it’s not gonna get me anywhere. Because of that reason, I’ve made the decision to stop doing it. I don’t need to feel petty or sorry for myself, I need to address this like I would address anything else and face it, be the bigger person and well, be the person I emotionally and mentally want to be.
I used to compare my physicalities to what I thought were better looking girls or models, (I mean which teenage girl doesn’t do that?) And I’m happy to say I don’t do this to nearly the same scale as I did growing up. I put time and literal sweat into learning to appreciate my body and what it can do, and it paid off. I feel confident and comfortable with body because I put in the effort. So, I plan to do that psychologically too. I am to stop comparing my own achievements to others.
(basically planning on being as chill as this weird dancing plant. I know it’s freaky but also kinda weirdly awesome.)
Over the last few months I’ve been making a genuine effort to stop being jealous and to start being proud of people’s achievements who are in a similar position to myself.
So, without further ado I want to explain to you my plan which I’ve been following in order to learn to accept myself for myself and to not compare myself to others, it’s very simple. You ready? Okay.
- Accept yourself.
If you’re like me you’re probably rolling your eyes by now and thinking ‘what is this soppy crap’. And if it was just a random phrase I would be agreeing with you. But this is something I genuinely have a problem with and I’ve found that this phrase actually works.
Accept yourself for who you are at this moment in time and realise that you’re at this position in your life for a reason. Everything you’ve experienced, all the events that have happened to you, every opportunity you’ve been presented with have all crossed your path because they were meant to. And just because you may not be where someone else is in their life, doesn’t mean you’re worth any less. We’re unique, our lives are unique and so will be the routes we take even if we end up at the same destination as someone else.
Let me give you an example, let’s say you desperately want to work in a cinema. You’ve wanted it your whole life but for some reason the manager rejects your job interview and you don’t get it. If it’s something you love and you know you’re good at then you listen to the criticism, you learn, grow and keep on pushing and trying for that job.
However, let’s say your best friend gets the cinema job, she’s ecstatic and to be fair it’s a pretty cool job. Don’t convince yourself that just because you are unemployed you need to be jealous of her spotlight. Take your time to figure out what feels right to you, remember to be honest with yourself and that just because your journey is different it doesn’t mean it’s any less valuable.
- Face it – That feeling of anxiety in either situation is something to be confronted. Don’t shy away from it, we’re sensitive to our emotions and I believe it’s important to deal with them head on and ask yourself why you’re feeling a certain way in order to help you get past it.
- Ask yourself – would you actually like to be in their shoes? Maybe they’ve got the cool cinema job but they’re also sacrificing their social life to work late. That might suit you but then again it might make you unhappy in the long run and make you feel all the less like yourself which will inevitably end up with more anxiety.
- You do you – focus on the good things in your life. Take some time to write down 2 or 3 positive things in your life which you can enrich and develop. Rather than jumping from goal to goal, focus on a couple and work out how you can achieve them. Be clear, be honest and be realistic.
- Get motivated – YO. PAY ATTENTION. Now seriously, you’ve had your sulk you’ve felt a little bit shit but you’ve now focused on a couple of really exciting things which could turn into incredibly positive opportunities which (drumroll please…) are things which are YOU. They’re on your path, they’ve got the sign post *You there, come this way please* and you’ve spotted them for yourself. So start creating a thought out structure on how to score that goal and whilst doing so, don’t forget to congratulate your friend with the cinema job along the way.
Failure is inevitable on the road to success so lap it up and realise that with every down hill comes an upwards journey.
Love, Molly xx